Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Making A Move

So J and I go to brunch most Sundays. We alternate between PRUNE and AUGUST. AUGUST has an amazing room, equal parts warm and comforting. The food is good but the main reason for going to AUGUST is that I have a thing for one of the young women that works there. Let’s call her “Stephanie”. And per my usual self, I didn’t notice that she was into me. (To be quite honest, I’m not even sure she was. J might be pulling my leg.) In any case, I’d like to ask out this girl and I think I’ve figured out a way to do so. Most of you probably like the direct approach. “Hi I’m (fill in the blank). I’d like to take you out sometime for a malted.” Something along those lines. But me, I’m not that guy. I’m really a…what’s the word…ah yes, a chicken. I’ve never asked a girl out face to face. It’s always been a transaction done by phone for me. But I’ve found a loophole that will allow me to continue being the chicken that I am and get a possible date with “Stephanie”.

Okay so last time J and I were in AUGUST, I heard a couple of songs from the restaurant's sound system that sounded familiar and then I asked “Stephanie”, “Is this THE LIFE AQUATIC soundtrack?” She was slightly shocked and mostly pleased that I was astute enough to figure this out. She admitted that it was and went onto explain how she loves Wes Anderson films. I too am a huge Wes Anderson fan, although I explained that I was disappointed by his most recent outing, THE LIFE AQUATIC. We traded friendly barbs and went about our business. After we leave, J admits that “Stephanie” was totally into me and why didn’t I ask her out. Well you can guess where that conversation ended. So now J has got me all worked up over this situation. But I think I got an angle as to how I can casually ask her out. I could bring her something that might interest her as a Wes Anderson fan. BOTTLE ROCKET is Wes Anderson’s first film and it was originally a short. I have a copy of the short. (Which is not commercially available.) And I thought maybe I could bring it into AUGUST on Sunday and let her borrow it. So I’m imagining it would go something like this.

“Stephanie” walks by.
Me: I brought you something!
“Stephanie”: Oh?
Me: Yeah I remember how last time I was here we got to talking about Wes Anderson and I actually have a copy of the original BOTTLE ROCKET short. I brought it for you.
“Stephanie”: Oh my god! That’s…I can’t….
Me: It’s only a copy and I’m only lending it to you, but I’ve included my number so you can call me when you’re done with it. Maybe we could talk about it sometime.
“Stephanie”: That’d be…yes. I’d love that. This is so thoughtful.

And then we’d make out. Any thoughts?

4 Comments:

Blogger Kate said...

Oh, Bernard...there are no great rewards without great risks. How old are you?

Your idea is cute, but you'd be better off to bring up Bottle Rocket and then work your way around to inviting her to watch it with you...

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 1:38:00 AM  
Blogger D said...

BARTLET
What were you doing taking my daughter out to a bar?

JOSH
You told me to sir.

BARTLET
I told you to take Charlie. When Zoey said she was going I just assumed you were
gonna go have malteds or something.

JOSH
Malteds, sir?

BARTLET
Yes.

JOSH
What is this? 'Our Town'?

---

Leaving your ridiculous-ness aside, oh, no wait, that is actually impossible to do. Your ridiculous-ness engulfs everything you do. I feel like I could sum up my comment by ending with a second WW quote. Just ask her out you chicken-shit...

---

JOSH
Well, I'm a straight shooter. I think my record's pretty clear on that.

TOBY
Yeah.

JOSH
I'd like to see her again.

TOBY
Call her.

JOSH
And ask her out?

TOBY
Yeah.

JOSH
No, no. 'Cause there's a potential she says no and then I have to move someplace where
it'll never be spoken of again.

TOBY
Yeah.

JOSH
I need to come in under the cover of business.

TOBY
'Cause you're a straight shooter.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 11:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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my screenname is Enygmaenterprise... Im excited to have found another fan...

Wednesday, March 02, 2005 1:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Mar said...

I think it's a pretty good idea. Offer the short, but no "let's talk about it some time." She'll take it - what else can she do? And then she'll have to give it back. Suddenly you're meeting outside of the restaurant and on your way to being friends.
Hey, I'm thinking about this more . . . if I'm not mistaken, you asked me to lunch the first day we met. I don't buy this chicken b.s. You're more outgoing than you like to admit.

Sunday, March 06, 2005 2:13:00 PM  

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