Saturday, April 30, 2005

The Village

What should I write about today? Maybe about how one of my closest friends is terribly hurt over a decision I made and feels betrayed by my choice. No. While I do regret hurting him it’s something that we’ll both have to live with because I’ve made up my fucking mind.

I’m moving into the city this August. Hopefully into the West Village. I love the Village. This is my New York. The area is teeming with artists. People walk with purpose in the Village. It’s an awfully expensive area but totally worth it. I can’t afford to live in the Village by myself. Luckily I’ll have a roommate--J. Our sensibilities are similar and that should make for fun times. I’m tired of coming home to an empty apartment. It’s lonely. And New York can be a cold place. Very cold.

My love letter to my NYC experience will be the year I spend in the Village with J. It’ll strike the right chord before I trek cross-country to Los Angeles.


Blogger Jenni said...

I love you, and I can't wait for our year together! See you at brunch :)

Sunday, May 01, 2005 2:14:00 AM  
Blogger Kate said...


How close of a friendship could it have been if you chose an apartment over the friend? I like both you and J, but you knew in advance that this would hurt him, and you did it anyway. You mentioned it to me once a long time ago, and I thought for sure that you cared about him enough to at least feel him out about the idea. I was surprised to discover that you never did. I'm also surprised to find that you don't appear to have any remorse over your decision whatsoever. What kind of friendship was it really? Or are you justifying this as an equal response to something he did to you? I know he upset you a couple of months ago, but he didn't do what he did to stick it to you. (For the record, I think he made a mistake without intending any harm, in an effort to get your ass in gear before you lose the best thing that could ever happen to you.)

Again, I like you and J, and I'm glad you have someone to connect with in that city, but honestly, I'm disappointed in you. I didn't think you were the kind of guy that would throw away a friendship - and essentially, that's what's happened - so that you could live in a more expensive part of town. I thought the friendship meant more than that.


Monday, May 02, 2005 12:17:00 AM  
Blogger B said...

I never chose an apartment over a friend. For you to distill my decision to that is overly simplistic. I don’t need anyone’s permission to do anything. Apparently you choose to live in a world where your choices aren’t your own and everything must be cleared with other people. I, on the other hand, have made a decision that I’m ecstatic about and I don’t think I should feel ashamed for it. Derek is my friend and while I regret hurting him, he’s a big boy. He can speak for himself. My friendship with him is near and dear to my heart. If he doubts that, or feels that this decision negates that, then he should contact me. And if you think Kate that this was some sort of retaliatory response to a well-intentioned gaff that he made on my birthday, then you don’t know me at all. I’m not petty. If I was still upset over that, I’d just not talk to him for a while. Ironically, this is what he’s doing to me right now. And I understand. He’s hurt. I’ve kept my distance until he’s ready to talk and when he is, he knows my number. Our friendship has weathered strange and difficult times, but we’ve always come out of it stronger than before.

Monday, May 02, 2005 1:03:00 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

I hope it does, Bernard - but I know how upset he is, and I don't know if your friendship will weather this. I would like to think so, but I don't know. For the record, I'm not speaking for him - I chose to question you because of the casual, callous way in which you wrote about it. I'm sure he'll call you when he's ready. And no, I don't live in a world where decisions must be cleared with others. I just thought you would have brought it up before announcing that you were doing it, that's all. Like a buffer, because you knew it would hurt him. Finally, you're right, I don't know you. We've had less than 10 conversations. I was guessing about your motive (more about your decision to just announce it rather than the move itself), because it's not an unreasonable assumption - people do things like that every day.

I want you both (and J) to be happy. If this move makes you happy, great - I just hope the friendship is strong enough, because your decision has made someone else very UNhappy.

Monday, May 02, 2005 7:45:00 AM  
Blogger B said...

If you don’t think that Derek and I will make it through this then you don’t have much faith in true friendship. I’ve known him since February 2000. I’ve been there for him when he needed me to get flowers for a girl he was dating because he was in New Mexico. (That summer I sent him a care package full of cookies and an action figure.) I’ve been there for him when he needed help moving out of his apartment (which was the first time I met you Kate). We’ve been there for each other when we needed to talk about our heartbreaks and we’ve cheered each other on when a new potential love entered our lives. He was my Executive Producer on my first feature film. I let him lift the now infamous "Pie Line" to ask out a few women. We can talk endlessly and without interruption about the subtle nuances of any scene from the first four seasons of THE WEST WING. What Derek and I share is very rare. And I cherish it. I miss it. There’s a Derek Walden shaped hole in my life. The only problem is that we’re both too fucking stubborn to call each other and fix this thing.

Monday, May 02, 2005 1:16:00 PM  

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