Friday, June 24, 2005


As I walk into my preferred coffeehouse, I see my favorite barista. I have had mild crushes on almost all the women that work at this establishment, but this one is different. And here’s why: she makes me laugh. I rarely if ever find women funny. My humor is a delicate blend of awkwardness, self-deprecation and a healthy sense of the absurd. Not many women can appreciate this, which I've accepted. But I’ve joked a few times with this woman and she’s been able to keep up with me. Top that off with having a fantastic smile, short hair and glasses...she’s absolutely the kind of girl I would be too shy to say hello to even though I have no reason to be. Earlier in the week, we had a conversation that went something like this:
“You should come in to my restaurant this week. We’re closing.”
“I’ll totally hook you up. Being Wine Director comes with perks.”
“I’m sure. Where is it?”
I tell her.
And that was it. Didn’t think much about it...that is until today when I saw her. It was the first time since that small exchange. But this time she initiated.
“I’ve been calling everyone and no one wants to come with me to your restaurant.” I get the impression that her friends, like herself, don’t possess a whole lot of money (neither do I), which always is a good reason to say no to extravagant nights out at posh two-star restaurants. Or maybe she’s just saying this to appease me so I won’t ask her about it.
“You should just come in by yourself then.”
“I think I might do that.”
And that’s how we left it. No commitment to seeing each other. But I was hopeful that I’d see her later that night.
And guess what? She did come.
She brought a friend, Jeff, who thank God was gay and not some guy she’s seeing. I seat them at one of the best tables. I ask them a bunch of questions.
“Are you allergic to anything?”
They shake their heads.
“Is there anything you won’t eat?”
No again.
“How about drink?”
She perks up. “Tequila is not good.” Jeff laughs.
“Okay, but wine is good.”
They nod big time.
And now we’re off to the races. The one thing I’m great at is just taking over a situation in regards to food. So I decide to make a tasting menu out of a ton of appetizers and pair each course with wine. It was one of my greatest moments as a server. They loved everything. I wanted to blow them away and I think I did that. So if there’s ever a shot at getting a date with this girl I think I’ve put myself in the best position to do so. End of the meal comes and I write a note in the check presenter: “There is no check. Please don’t make big deal out of this. It’s been my pleasure. Call me. (my phone number).” And there it was. I pick up the check after they figure out what to tip (which turned out to be rather generous) and I find a note inside. I don’t read it right away, because they’re still at the restaurant. On their way out, she kisses me on the cheek. I couldn’t have been happier. That is until I read the note, which read, “Bernard – if that is your real name…you are PHENOMENAL. We love you. Emmy and Jeff (both of their phone numbers).”


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well done.

Monday, June 27, 2005 3:16:00 AM  

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