Monday, August 22, 2005

Depressed

I didn’t get out of bed until 7:00 PM today. If that’s not an indication of my current mental state, then…I don’t know.

The job thing will work itself out. I keep repeating that mantra to myself over and over. It’s true. It will work itself out. I’ll have a job soon enough.

The apartment dilemma is what truly plagues my mind at the moment. I need someone to take this apartment right now, before my mind explodes. Please won’t someone take it off my hands?

It’s the girl’s birthday today. After much debate, I sent her a text message wishing her a happy birthday. It was simple and I’m sure confusing as hell to her. “What does this mean?” “Isn’t he mad at me?” “Should I respond?” Part of me likes messing with her a bit…turnaround is fair play. But more than anything I really do want her to have a good birthday. Everyone should have a good birthday.

Story time. My birthday is in mid January. My brother’s is actually on Christmas. Something I’ve never really forgiven my parents for is the fact that they chose to celebrate his birthday on my birthday. Their thinking was that my brother might feel slighted when I would celebrate my birthday, which I understand, but what they did in effect was diminish how I felt about my birthday. It was never my own. I never felt full ownership of it. And so I’ve always felt it my personal crusade to make anyone else’s birthday beautiful and extraordinary.

Alright enough rambling. Time to drink.

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