Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Not Sure

In the wake of the disquieting news that Nick and Shannon are no longer together, my mind shifts to Emmy. Any news, I have found, is only relatable if you see how it affects you. I haven’t received any response to my letter and I’m unsure as to how to react. Worse yet, I’m not sure which way I’m rooting for it to go. I’m so disillusioned by what love actually is that I care not what love ought to be. What happens if she says yes to my bold request? Am I doomed to suffer the same fate that Nick and Shannon now have? Is true happiness possible? Maybe it is, but I can’t be sure anymore.


Blogger Mandibula said...

Dearest Bernard,

Have you ever read "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" by Milan Kundera? One of the best quotes is from, I think page 169 towards the bottom...if you read the same edition that I did. It goes something like this, "Loves are like kingdoms. When the idea they are built upon crumbles, so, too, do they."

Your questions are well-founded. Any time something like this happens I think most people's hearts are prone to sadness and subsequential worry. Love rarely is what we think it should be. I'm sure we've all been disillusioned at one time or another in response to "love".

But what is important in all of our lives is to not grow too bitter or jaded or fearful. You have always been one to love with intensity. While such fears as you are struggling with now may soften the sharp idealistic edges of your perception of love, I hope that you will not let it erode the pureness of your search and your appreciation for all the little beautiful things you always notice ten times more than others.

I love you...

Thursday, August 04, 2005 1:52:00 AM  
Blogger Mandibula said...

I meant to say subsequent, not subsequential...

Thursday, August 04, 2005 5:22:00 AM  

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