Sunday, September 25, 2005

Notes on Dating

I’m so over dating. When I was young, I thought dating would be fun. And sometimes it is—the getting to know each other, telling self-deprecating stories for the first time and the occasional sex act. The entire process though, turns out to take too much time and energy. I’d like to just be in a committed relationship with someone I don’t have to work at caring about. Caring about someone should come easily while the rest is work. If anyone tells you different, they’ve never had a relationship that’s lasted longer than two months. Love isn’t enough. It’s work. A truly great long lasting relationship takes work.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about whether or not love is a choice. Do we really just fall in love with someone? A fated romance? Or is it a choice? Do you choose to give someone your heart? And if that’s the case, can you make someone choose you? I should do an experiment.

Oh so I asked J this yesterday and I’d like the peanut gallery to chime in. What are your thoughts of a date that begins at a thrift store and you decide to dress each other for the evening? Does that sound appealing?

A married couple I know are talking about having a baby. Is it odd that I keep thinking that this shouldn’t be decided by committee? It happens or it doesn’t happen, but children shouldn’t be a decision made over breakfast. How does that conversation go?
“I’d like to have a baby.”
“No.”
“Oh come on. Please.”
“Alright.”
It just seems absurd to me.

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