Saturday, November 26, 2005

I'm the one who's lucky...

I just want to revel in something for a moment. A week ago, frustrated with my job, I ran downstairs to use the restroom and afterwards I quickly sent a text message to Em.
“I’m 99.9% sure I’m quitting tonight.”
And that’s it. Nothing else. No explanation or set up.
All night, my co-workers begged me to think about what I was doing, to reconsider. And they calmed me down from my furious state. But then my phone vibrates. It's Em's response.
“Do it. Don’t look back.”
I took a deep breath. I hated my job and she knew I was miserable. Em was confident that I’d be able to find a new job in a second. (Which I did.) That message was telling me that it was okay to be brave. And for that, I have to just pause and think about how fucking lucky I am to be with such a person. It may not seem like that big a deal, but logic tells me that I made the bad play in that moment--quitting without a fallback plan. It takes a person who cares about you deeply to give you license not to adhere to logic.


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