Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Stuffing

Last night I made sausage stuffing. It wasn’t good. Objectively speaking, I’ve had significantly better stuffing. But that’s not what was really sad. I was trying to make my mother’s stuffing. It’s my favorite thing to eat at Thanksgiving and I haven’t had it for three years. Not the way she makes it anyway. So I was attempting to re-create it from memory. And I fucked up. It was awful. I know I did something wrong and I can’t for the life of me understand what precisely it was. But J had a few bites and made some disparaging remarks about my concoction. (“So what are we going to do with it? (implying that we should probably just throw it out)” and “You aren’t still planning on going to culinary school are you?”) I didn’t want to hear any “helpful hints” from her. Could she improve it? Sure. But it was about me trying to find something I’m craving. I haven’t had Thanksgiving dinner with my family since I moved to New York and this is the first year I’m pretty upset about it. My dad will overcook the turkey, nothing is made from scratch and dinner conversation is forced and awkward. But I’ll be missing it. And given my new job (oh yeah I got a new job opening a restaurant in a couple of weeks...very swanky) I’m 99.9% sure I’m going to have to cancel my trip home for Christmas and New Year’s. So I’m not sure when I’m going to see my family again. And it sucks.

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